I've moved...

New digs are here. All the cool kids were doing it!

"Oh Noooooo!"

I'm tired of "drinking the Koolaid." When you don't know it is laced with cyanide it's a sweet tasty beverage. But once you know it has been poisoned it's difficult to convince yourself to swallow. Or is it? Times over the years I've gladly consumed the Koolaid knowing full well it was tainted because not doing so would have meant a struggle for me. Perhaps I feared the thirst would be more unbearable than the release of the poison.

Going into 2007 I am going to endeavor to risk thirst rather than consume the beverage that is served with the poison.

'Tis the Season

It is the time of the year when we continue to pretend that something we know is not true is true. And we pull others into the illusion. Do we do it because it makes us feel better letting them believe something other than the truth? Do we do it purely for them? Are we serving those we bring into the illusion? At some point the curtain is opened and everybody sees the truth. Did enough joy come from the illusion to warrant the pain of the disillusionment? How long do we pretend?

It is also the time of the year when we aspire to a new beginning leaving behind that which has not served us. Welcoming the in the new year. Strange how this contradicts the fantasy of the season. Yet many people knowingly make resolutions they will never stick to.

I prefer to go into the new year knowing that I've done my best to clear my path. Without setting too many goals or expectations that are doomed to fail.

I don't consider myself a Scrooge but I am very much a questioning Cratchet.

I wish all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Perception

How much of our existence is viewed through a fog? Is our reality only in our mind? Do we have a different view of our circumstance than others sharing our experience because they know something we don't?

How much of our "truth" is real and how much of it's an illusion held up by our own wishes and desires? How much does deceit play in our vision of what is "real"?

There are times in my life where my "reality" was far from the truth. It wasn't because I was fooling myself but because information was withheld from me. Presumably to protect me or in some cases to protect someone else.

As painful as the truth can be I'd rather live my life with as much of the truth as is possible. I want to make the choices in my life as to what is acceptable to me. I don't want someone protecting me or themselves by telling me what I want to hear or by giving me half truths or lies. I want those I know to allow me to know my truth and allow me choices through those truths. I do the same for them in hopes that they will return the favor.

Some of my happiest moments in my past were happy only because I didn't know the reality. I'd rather have had the reality over the pseudo happiness.

I like to think that after living my life and suffering through such a reality distortion that I am now living my life knowing the truth as it affects me or could potentially affect me. I want to live my life with honor and respect and hope that others I choose to spend my life with will do the same. I want to trust. But I do not want to foolishly trust blindly. I realize that this is probably something I will have to be ever vigilant for.

How much of what I know about my life and circumstances right now is real? Only time will tell.

Viewing the Innerchild

The innerchild frequently out in full view. The wonder of life brings out the child in each of us. A fireworks display is such an event. As adults we escape in the magic of the display. Shudder at the sounds of the explosions and return temporarily to our childhood. Perhaps a better childhood than we actually experienced as children.

I revel in seeing others in this place as much as I enjoy my own visits. Seeing the same wonder and excitment on the face of an adult as you do on a small child really makes the world seem a better place.

The Path

There are times in life when the path ahead is both exciting and scary. The unknown seems dark, the path frought with danger and littered with the remains of the unfortunate souls who passed this way before. Its at these times that we have to look back on the many paths we've taken in our lives to get to this point. How many of those paths were what we expected them to be? Were the scary always those that worked out the least desirably? Were the paths that seemed the most clear of danger those that we found to be the right path?

What dangers do we fear on these darker paths? Are the dangers more pronounced in our imagination than the real danger? Are the dangers we fear of our own manufacture? Are we afraid because we have been taught to be afraid? Taught to avoid the potential of pain at all costs? How much risk are we willing to take?

There are times to act on faith. Is this the time? Is it time to try to see past our fears and take the next step?

Each of us must decide.

Horizons

Life is abundant with opportunities. My current opportunity is to simplify things by getting rid of "stuff" I've accumulated over the years that I never use. I think it's a good opportunity to make space for something new or to declutter. I have to fight my pack rat tendencies to do this effectively but I am determined.

I've been thinking of doing some painting at my house for a while. Now is the time for action.

Appreciation

I've been learning to appreciate my life and those who are in it more fully. To appreciate and celebrate the good and not let the perceived deficiencies blind me to the abundance. I'm mostly a glass half full kind of person but have a tendency from time to time to see the glass half empty.

I'm making a conscious effort to appreciate what I have. To see what I have in it's full glory and to take the time to see it in more detail than ever before.