Know Won Nose

I've moved...

2007-01-23T11:37:00.001-08:00

New digs are here. All the cool kids were doing it!

"Oh Noooooo!"

2006-12-24T09:20:00.000-08:00

I'm tired of "drinking the Koolaid." When you don't know it is laced with cyanide it's a sweet tasty beverage. But once you know it has been poisoned it's difficult to convince yourself to swallow. Or is it? Times over the years I've gladly consumed the Koolaid knowing full well it was tainted because not doing so would have meant a struggle for me. Perhaps I feared the thirst would be more unbearable than the release of the poison.

Going into 2007 I am going to endeavor to risk thirst rather than consume the beverage that is served with the poison.

'Tis the Season

2006-12-24T07:16:00.000-08:00

It is the time of the year when we continue to pretend that something we know is not true is true. And we pull others into the illusion. Do we do it because it makes us feel better letting them believe something other than the truth? Do we do it purely for them? Are we serving those we bring into the illusion? At some point the curtain is opened and everybody sees the truth. Did enough joy come from the illusion to warrant the pain of the disillusionment? How long do we pretend?

It is also the time of the year when we aspire to a new beginning leaving behind that which has not served us. Welcoming the in the new year. Strange how this contradicts the fantasy of the season. Yet many people knowingly make resolutions they will never stick to.

I prefer to go into the new year knowing that I've done my best to clear my path. Without setting too many goals or expectations that are doomed to fail.

I don't consider myself a Scrooge but I am very much a questioning Cratchet.

I wish all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Perception

2006-09-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

How much of our existence is viewed through a fog? Is our reality only in our mind? Do we have a different view of our circumstance than others sharing our experience because they know something we don't?

How much of our "truth" is real and how much of it's an illusion held up by our own wishes and desires? How much does deceit play in our vision of what is "real"?

There are times in my life where my "reality" was far from the truth. It wasn't because I was fooling myself but because information was withheld from me. Presumably to protect me or in some cases to protect someone else.

As painful as the truth can be I'd rather live my life with as much of the truth as is possible. I want to make the choices in my life as to what is acceptable to me. I don't want someone protecting me or themselves by telling me what I want to hear or by giving me half truths or lies. I want those I know to allow me to know my truth and allow me choices through those truths. I do the same for them in hopes that they will return the favor.

Some of my happiest moments in my past were happy only because I didn't know the reality. I'd rather have had the reality over the pseudo happiness.

I like to think that after living my life and suffering through such a reality distortion that I am now living my life knowing the truth as it affects me or could potentially affect me. I want to live my life with honor and respect and hope that others I choose to spend my life with will do the same. I want to trust. But I do not want to foolishly trust blindly. I realize that this is probably something I will have to be ever vigilant for.

How much of what I know about my life and circumstances right now is real? Only time will tell.

Viewing the Innerchild

2006-07-06T23:16:00.000-07:00

The innerchild frequently out in full view. The wonder of life brings out the child in each of us. A fireworks display is such an event. As adults we escape in the magic of the display. Shudder at the sounds of the explosions and return temporarily to our childhood. Perhaps a better childhood than we actually experienced as children.

I revel in seeing others in this place as much as I enjoy my own visits. Seeing the same wonder and excitment on the face of an adult as you do on a small child really makes the world seem a better place.

The Path

2006-06-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

There are times in life when the path ahead is both exciting and scary. The unknown seems dark, the path frought with danger and littered with the remains of the unfortunate souls who passed this way before. Its at these times that we have to look back on the many paths we've taken in our lives to get to this point. How many of those paths were what we expected them to be? Were the scary always those that worked out the least desirably? Were the paths that seemed the most clear of danger those that we found to be the right path?

What dangers do we fear on these darker paths? Are the dangers more pronounced in our imagination than the real danger? Are the dangers we fear of our own manufacture? Are we afraid because we have been taught to be afraid? Taught to avoid the potential of pain at all costs? How much risk are we willing to take?

There are times to act on faith. Is this the time? Is it time to try to see past our fears and take the next step?

Each of us must decide.

Horizons

2006-05-18T10:32:00.000-07:00

Life is abundant with opportunities. My current opportunity is to simplify things by getting rid of "stuff" I've accumulated over the years that I never use. I think it's a good opportunity to make space for something new or to declutter. I have to fight my pack rat tendencies to do this effectively but I am determined.

I've been thinking of doing some painting at my house for a while. Now is the time for action.

Appreciation

2006-04-28T15:37:00.000-07:00

I've been learning to appreciate my life and those who are in it more fully. To appreciate and celebrate the good and not let the perceived deficiencies blind me to the abundance. I'm mostly a glass half full kind of person but have a tendency from time to time to see the glass half empty.

I'm making a conscious effort to appreciate what I have. To see what I have in it's full glory and to take the time to see it in more detail than ever before.

Reflections

2006-04-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

Learning that a lot of what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves has been an eye opener.

I'm seeing the good, the bad and the indifferent and realising that many of these same traits are my own.

It helps to recognize the good parts of yourself because it makes it easier to deal with those that are less palatable.

Sharing Joy

2006-04-01T23:05:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to add to the world by sharing my joys with others. Be that sharing the music of a favorite band (Tool) or sharing a hobby.

I've been sharing my love of photography with my son for the last year and a half. And more recently by girlfriends daughter. Both derived a lot of joy capturing their view of the world.

In sharing I find I receive back much more than I give. I get to hear others perspectives on the music I love and I get to see the world through the eyes of others.

Simple Pleasures

2006-04-01T22:53:00.000-08:00

Of all the things in my life that I've derived pleasure from the simplest of pleasures have always been the most satisfying. These simple pleasures cost little to no money. Most of these pleasures are available all around us.

I filled the need in the past by spending a lot of money on a lot of things that held no real value. I wound up with a lot of clutter. The more clutter you have around you the harder it is to see the simple pleasures before you. I have been slowly decluttering my home and my mind.

I hope to continue this process while continuing to learn to recognize and appreciate the simple pleasures.

Surveyor

2006-03-24T17:52:00.000-08:00

Looking down on what I have created for myself. With neither pride or regret. Only learning what I need to learn in order to continue forward on the best possible path.

Where I lead I follow. I set my own path. I follow it without fear. I don't go forward with expectations. Only a strong sense of who I am.

Holding On

2006-03-21T11:02:00.000-08:00

I've been working on learning to let go of things that are not healthy to hold on to. Like anger. Frustration. Disappointment.

The person who is punished the most when I can't let go is me. If I am angry, frustrated or disappointed the person, persons or entity that has caused this reaction continues on completely unaware of their affect.

Letting go of these feelings and allowing myself a clean slate gives me back what I let someone else take away from me.

A song by my favorite band Tool speaks about this in the song The Grudge. Lyrics below:

The Grudge

Wear the grudge like a crown of negativity. Calculate what we will or will not tolerate. Desperate to control all and everything. Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen.

Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down. Justify denials and grip 'em to the lonesome end. Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down. Terrified of being wrong. Ultimatum prison cell.

Saturn ascends, choose one or ten. Hang on or be humbled again.

Clutch it like a cornerstone. Otherwise it all comes down. Justify denials and grip 'em to the lonesome end. Saturn ascends, comes round again. Saturn ascends, the one, the ten. Ignorant to the damage done.

Wear the grudge like a crown of negativity. Calculate what we will or will not tolerate. Desperate to control all and everything. Unable to forgive your scarlet lettermen.

Wear the grudge like a crown. Desperate to control. Unable to forgive. And we're sinking deeper.

Defining, confining, controlling, and we're sinking deeper.

Saturn comes back around to show you everything Let's you choose what you will not see and then Drags you down like a stone or lifts you up again Spits you out like a child, light and innocent.

Saturn comes back around. Lifts you up like a child or Drags you down like a stone To consume you till you choose to let this go.

Give away the stone. Let the oceans take and transmutate this cold and fated anchor. Give away the stone.Let the waters kiss and transmutate these leaden grudges into gold. Let go.

Possibilities

2006-03-19T01:01:00.000-08:00

Much going on over the next month. Much good and much not as good but necessary. I'm sure I'll blather on endlessly in the meantime.

So many paths we can take in our lives. So many directions to go. Choosing the right path when I am being pulled in so many directions is difficult for me.

I like to always make the very best possible choice. Sometimes I think I try too hard.

My life always seems to have periods where there is a lot happening all at the same time. So many decisions to make. But it's the decisions being made that affect me that I have no control over that really bother me. I'm a control freak. I want others to live their lives but I want to have control over my own.

Branches in the path. So many possibilities.

Rhythm

2006-03-18T10:21:00.000-08:00

Rhythm
Originally uploaded by KnowWonNose.

In life we meet so many people. I've met my share. But it's rare to meet someone with such a deep touching presense. Someone who touches you on so many levels and leaves you resonating.

This person is that person in my life and I'm fortunate she's present at this very moment.

I'd nearly forgotten about this blog again!

2006-03-18T09:57:00.000-08:00

I went looking for it a bit ago and found my original blog account that I'd never actually got around to using.

Most of my last week was spent with my girlfriend Kymberlee and her two lovely daughters. They got the cold that has been going around so I did my part to try and lighten the load and help her to feel better.

I noticed that their home had a minimal number of smoke detectors and thought it pertinent that they have better warning in the event of a fire so I purchased and installed four of them. I still think two more are needed and will get to them as soon as I can. I like to know that my loved ones are as protected as can reasonably be expected. Check your home to make sure you have adequate warning in the event of a fire. Also consider a carbon monoxide/fire detector in an area close to any furnances or other heat sources.

I got way behind on the streams of my friends on Flickr over the last few days. I'm finding less and less time for Flickr as I concentrate on real life. Fortunately those on Flickr I consider the best friends are understanding and supportive.

Is this microphone on??

2006-03-09T20:28:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what I really want to say on this. I'm not really one to just chat without an audience. I have plenty to say on many subjects but I really work better when I'm interacting with someone else.

Anyway I'm sure I'll come up with something at some point. I'm quite a chatter box once I get started. This may be the first and last short posting. ;)